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11 April 2008 @ 08:56 am
Because most memes fail to ask the things we really want to know  
1. Have you ever killed a man?
2. With your own hands?
3. What, in your opinion, is the best way to transport contraband across state and country lines?
4. Even if you're transporting explosives?
5. Really?
6. Have you ever stolen a library book?
7. On purpose, or only because you found it under your bed years after you reported it lost and paid the fine?
8. Where were you on November 1, 2007?
9. Can you prove it?
10. You had to think about that, didn't you?
11. How much is it worth to you for me to pretend I didn't notice?
12. Have you spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder? (And if you know a faster method, will you share it?)
13. Name three different ways to start a fire.
14. Now try to convince me you only know that because you were a Girl/Boy Scout/Guide once.
15. How many digits of pi can you recite from memory?
16. Did you have to count out the digits on your fingers to answer that?
17. Did you check online to make sure you remembered right before answering?
18. Does all this talk about numbers make you uncomfortable?
19. Or are you just wondering what it has to do with the rest of the meme?
20. Seriously, where did you bury the body?
21. Where were you on March 16, 2036?
22. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?
23. What is the ninja replacement score for your life?
 
 
 
sfmarty on April 11th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
snerk
Karenquiller77 on April 11th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
Bwah ha ha ha. I love this meme. I'd answer it, but then I'd have to kill you. But not with my hands. ;-)
Janni Lee Simner: critteralienjanni on April 11th, 2008 05:08 pm (UTC)
Yeah, yeah, everyone's fine when it comes to questions about crushes and what you ate for dinner last night, but no one's willing to answer about the stuff that really matters ...

Edited at 2008-04-11 05:10 pm (UTC)
Karenquiller77 on April 11th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
Well, I will admit to having stolen some library books (and me a librarian!). A few favourites from the junior high I attended -- and I still have them. I was struck with guilt a few years ago. And now the principal is a guy who used to work with my husband so I told him I'd donate a book to their library. A peace offering. He thought the whole thing was funny.
Elizabeth McCoyarchangelbeth on April 11th, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
miladyinsanity on April 11th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
If this starts spreading through the blogosphere, I think everybody's going to end up on some terrorist/crime watch list.

Especially the foodbloggers (who would know how to transport contraband--she says from firsthand accounts) and the crime writers.
Janni Lee Simner: critteralienjanni on April 12th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
Yeah, memes have always had their dangers.
kelly_swailskelly_swails on April 11th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
I'm totally gaking this and taking the blogosphere by storm!
Sherwood Smithsartorias on April 11th, 2008 07:59 pm (UTC)
Da-da-da-DOOM...

yes, I stole two library books. One when I was about ten, and another when I was fourteen. *cue sinister music*
sharonskinnersharonskinner on April 12th, 2008 04:50 am (UTC)
The Ninja replacement score for my life is three, but they all have to be carrying mops and drop from the ceiling the moment something spills.
John Higginbotham Jrcloudshaper2k on April 12th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
(Corrected 'cause I screwed up the first set of answers.)

1. Have you ever killed a man?
No.

2. With your own hands?
No.

3. What, in your opinion, is the best way to transport contraband across state and country lines?
Unlicensed catapult.

4. Even if you're transporting explosives?
Especially then.

5. Really?
Yup.

6. Have you ever stolen a library book?
Yes.

7. On purpose, or only because you found it under your bed years after you reported it lost and paid the fine?
Found lurking under bed and organizing a militia group.

8. Where were you on November 1, 2007?
That's classified.

9. Can you prove it?
Yes.

10. You had to think about that, didn't you?
Nope.

11. How much is it worth to you for me to pretend I didn't notice?
Three chocolate bars, an extraordinarily large ball of lint, and three measures of "The Halls of Montezuma"

12. Have you spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder? (And if you know a faster method, will you share it?)
No. It still throws me into fits of laughter.

13. Name three different ways to start a fire.
Matches, lighter, and asking my boss to put that in writing.

14. Now try to convince me you only know that because you were a Girl/Boy Scout/Guide once.
I've been many things, but I was never a Boy Scout.

15. How many digits of pi can you recite from memory?
3

16. Did you have to count out the digits on your fingers to answer that?
No.

17. Did you check online to make sure you remembered right before answering?
Nope.

18. Does all this talk about numbers make you uncomfortable?
I like numbers. They make most people nervous.

19. Or are you just wondering what it has to do with the rest of the meme?
This answer has been classified under the Patriot Act of 2002. It can only be released to the general public with the written permission of the President or on August 22, 3422, whichever comes first or whichever wins the bet over the cheese headed guy from Buffy.

20. Seriously, where did you bury the body?
Bodies. Plurals are important.

21. Where were you on March 16, 2036?
November 1, 2007

22. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?
No. Someone has to post the video on YouTube.

23. What is the ninja replacement score for your life?
Zero, I think. But I think I just failed a Spot check. And a Listen check.
(Deleted comment)
Janni Lee Simner: critteralienjanni on April 14th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
This is true--if I had a truly umm, interesting answer to #1, I couldn't ask it so cheerfully ... (I'd assume more than one still would be a yes ...)