Over on facebook and twitter, I was pondering, for story purposes, what the singular of Cheetos was (suggestions included Cheeto, Cheetoe, Cheetum, and the possibility that Cheetos is one of those nouns that is both singular and plural). And, well, it turns out Cheetos.com has a contact us link, so I sent my question to the experts. Just received this reply:

Hi Janni,

Thank you for writing to us. Good question, a Cheeto is a Cheeto is a Cheeto until it becomes Cheetos.

We consider you a valued consumer and hope you will continue to enjoy snacks from Frito-Lay.

Best regards,

Tina
Frito-Lay Consumer Relations
011877471A

And now we know--it is, indeed, a Cheeto my protagonist is waving in the air--and eventually, consuming, as is the destiny of nearly every Cheeto that is part of a bag of Cheetos.

(The address the response came from was a noreply address, but should google alerts catch this, thank you very much, Tina and Frito-Lay, for the quick response!)